Holiday catch up

Hello everyone out in bloggerland! HOpe everyone had a great christmas and hope you all have a great new year!! I'm down here in southern Mississippi. Hangin out with the fam. Christmas was good. Though uncle did have a little goof with the potatoes. Instead of having mashed (which i was bummed out cause that wouldve been one thing i wouldn't have had a problem eating) he decided to make some augratin scalloped potato dish. Only at dinner time, they weren't cooked all the way. It took almost another 2 hours to cook them lol. So for a little midnight snack they were ready! Was very funny.
Lets see, i flew down here the saturday before xmas. Later that night i looked at my tongue as i felt like i was gettin alot of canker sores, turns out I now had Thrush. It's really kinda gross looking. Since there's not really any over the counter treatment for that, I waited till monday to call my radiation onc since he's the last doc I'd been seeing. And his lovely treatments are what was causing everything. Only, he wasn't in, still on vacation. But I did get ahold of another doc who called me back and I told him what grossness lied on my tongue and my throat was still burning like a madman. He called in a perscription of Niastatin. Some anitfungle, sugary cherry flavored slightly numbing concoction. But it's doin the trick. By wednesday my tongue was looking almost normal. Today itlooks completely normal yay! (oh it's sunday the 30th) Happy birthday mom! I still have to take it for another week. My throat is slowly getting better. Yesterday was the biggest improvement day and today feels better too. Still hard to swallow things. But I just chew chew chew and drink and swallow. It's a shame my tastebuds have gotten all knocked around too. I couldn't even enjoy pizza lastnight. It just tasted sooo awful. How many times are you gonna hear me say that!!! I love pizza! Was such a shame. But apparently when I was out at the store my parents were like, hmmm how many pieces do we save for her, how many can they have. Ha turns out they had it all except for one pieces with like 2 bites out of it. I'm really tired of this now. I'd love to eat like a regular person and swallow easily. I did got to a couple casino buffets and got soft stuff, ie mashed taters, mac N cheese, but it all tasted gross. Now I'm not sure if thats cuase it was my tastebuds or buffet food lol. I did manage some crab legs, which would've been great but they actually weren't very good in general.
Today is moms bday, big old 59, so we are taking her to a Japanese steak house that she loves, Saki's. It's really good. I hope my tastebuds like it. I love the hibachi chicken and vegetables. So yummy. And soft enough I think I'll be ok now!

I guess thats about all, catches everybody up. I fly back home on Jan 3. Oh if you got some extra prayers in ya, can you send some to my ma. She has to have a biopsy done make sure she's just got a benign breast cyst or tumor and nothin worse. She meets with the surgeon on the fourth. She just found this out friday before xmas and on teh 26th we went and she had a magnifying mamogram and a sonogram. So meet with the surgeon and then he'll schedule the biopsy.
Anywho that covers it. Have a happy and safe and healthy new year!!!

and one more "lovely" gift from radiation

Well well well, I now have one more gift from radiation. Something completely unexpected and rather annoying and upsetting. I woke up yesterday, hopped in the shower, was washin my hair and then looked at my hands to find hair all over them. Yep the back of my head is pretty much bald now. Unfortunately, I have to tilt my head back during radiation to keep my lower jaw out of the way, well, this has now put the back of my head in the field. It's now been zapped but good and those little follicles have all just fried up and let my hair go. Very sad since as of right now I only have 2 more treatments left, it was completely unexpected and the other spots that lost hair from chemo are finally all filling in and looking good. I guess the good thing is, from the front the hair looks good, its just at the back that looks pathetic. And its just hard as its come out pretty much all at once and not slowly.
I went and thought getting a haircut would help it, but not really. Just looks bald and splotchy. I wish she'd have actually listened when I said shave it off and blend the rest not just blend it down.
Throat is still messed up. The hardest part is swalloing the oxycodone pills in the morning. I try to wash them down with slimfast cause it's thick and coats them a little, and I cut them up in quarters.
Thanks Jessica for all the advise on the soft foods, it's much appreciated.
So far just swallowign even water is an icky experience. :(
Well today and tomorrow and then I'm done and hopefully things will improve quickly!!!!!

throats-a-fire

Well all the radiation is takin a toll on my throat, thats for sure! Now it feels like a code red triple alarm sever strep throat. The doc gave me some magic mouthwash ( a lovely mixture of maalox and lidocaine) taste gross. Numbed my mouth but did nothin for my throat (and yes i swallowed it too). So I rang up the doc today and said the magic just wasn't working. When I got to my radiation appointment he had a prescription for Percoset waiting for me. he said they would be little pills, which is good cause I have trouble swallowing my tiny little pill for my bloodpressure right now. I drop of the script to the pharmacy, go back an hour to get it only to find out that they actually didn't check to see if they had it when they told me it would be ready in half an hour. But they had sent the manager to a nearby location that had it. Of course nearby I think was like half an hour away. I waited probably an hour and he finaly got back. Nice he sent the mgr over to get it and not me. I get the pills home and they are oxycodone and acetametophin mix and the tablets are big!! Very sad....very very sad. But luckily nowhere did it say do not chew or crush or break, so I chopped them in quarters and swallowed them done, but they still hurt. I tried taking one in a spoonful of icecream. That really didn't work to well. It's been about an hour and a half since I took them. It's not as severe but it's still really sore to swallow. I dunno whats gonna happen tomorrow. If it's only supposed to get worse this week. But luckily this week is the last week! Hopefully xmas day I'll be good enough at least to eat mashed potatoes without a bunch of pain! ya know when you can't eat something all of a sudden is when you really want it lol
Anyone watch Clash of the Choirs??? I'd have to say Patti LaBelles choir was the best, or well my favorite, Michael Boltons choir was my least favorite. Seriously why turn Livin On A Prayer into a big ole choir piece...just wierd.
Anywhooooooo, hope all are having a good start to their week!

swim swim swim

Caught The Little Mermaid lastnight at the Lunt-Fontaine theater. I'd say I'd give a 7 1/2-8 out of 10, 10 being the best. I felt they kind of scimped on some effects that really wouldve given a little bit more of a wow factor. It was cute and fun. And I love Sherie Rene Scott!! Vocally that woman is amazing with a breath support that can go on for days and days and days! There are quite a few new songs added to mix. A lovely quartet in act 2. Norm Lewis, King Triton, gotta love his voice too. so warm and melty and yummy! I notice not really any mermen in the mix. Lots of other fish and sea life, but really if Ariel is supposed to fall in love with a merman, they couldve at least showed one lol. Or maybe I just missed him.
It's fun and Poor Unfortunate Souls...great ending to it!That alone was worth the price. So there's my review.
Saw the rad.onc. today, everythign is coming along smoothly. I'm lining up under their machines very nicely so i'm gettin zapped in all teh right places. I'm not majorly bombarded by sideffects which is good. I did get some magic mouthwash today. I'll take a swig before bed as that seems to be the worse time for me.
Got a Holiday Party at work tomorrow yay!!
ciao for now!

just a quickie

Hello just droppin a quickie here. Finished week one of radiation. In the middle of week two. It is now getting hard to swallow, or well more of I'm swallowing harder if that makes sense. Kind of the hard swallow feeling you get at the beginning of a cold when your throat gets scratchy and kinda sore and saliva just feels gross and thick and you really have to work at swallowing. ..anyone? no, just me, oh well.
Other than that, just alittle more sleepy and the waits on mondays and tuesdays are crazy. I had to wait an hour and half on monday after my time to finally get in and yesterday was 2 hours. But yesterday their servers crashed so I can understand being delayed because of that. But normally, just cuase they have new patients it completely throws everything else off. I just sit and basically nap on and off in the waiting room. But i'm not the only one. One guy was snoring lastnight!
Goin to see The Little Mermaid tonight! Yay I'm excited!! Saw Young Frankenstein last friday. Very fun! Andrea Martin...hilarious!!!! Got to see some buds from Michigan who came to town to visit.That was nice, love seein my friends!
ok thats about all, ciao and happy holidays!

Anyone need a glowstick?

Today I officially started radiation. Other then waiting in the womens waiting area (first you wait to be called inside, then you go to seperate men/women rooms once they call you and then change into a robe and then wait some more in the seperate waiting rooms till someone comes and gets you). I waiting for what felt like forever! Finally I was called in. They had to take another film or two and then the radiation started. Really, it was like one long xray and then one short one. Then the machine moved around to under the table I was laying on and then another zap like a long xray and then a short one. Then i was all done.
The longest part of it all is making sure my little dot tattoos are lining up how they should and making sure my chin is lifted (or well my head is tilting back as far as it can so my chin gets out of the way) then they taped it all up so it wouldn't move. Not the most comfortable position but easily maintainable for waht 5 minutes at the most.
Once a week I'll go and visit the nurses there and fill them in if I have any side effects. They will also do blood work every Thursday and I'll chat with the doc every Thursday.
After "rads" today I went over to my buddy Josh's apt. Then we went and saw his partner Asi do his magic at Monday Night Magic . I have to say it was definetly a fun time. Asi is a great magician. Keep the name in mind in the magic world Asi Wind! The headliner, John Graham, great job as well. Both were so funny and entertaining. The whole evening was fun and fun magicians. If you like magic and just want a fun evening I highly recommend it. Every Monday is different, has different performers. Just something to be aware of.

So now that it's like 12:30AM I am off to bed! Took forever for a subway to come tonight. Geez sometimes they are such a pain! lol.
Happy first week of December!
xo

Winters here and I want some hot chocolate...with whipped cream!

Hello lovely ladies and gorgeous gents! I hope all had a lovely Thanksgiving! Mine was really very good, no complaints! Made out like it was xmas! Got lots of black friday clothes sales and basically xmas for me is over except for the food lol.

I met up with my oncologist today. Bummer news is that he has added another week to the plan. So, instead of having 2 weeks of radiation I now get 3. Lucky me! I understand his thinking though. And I actually understand now, kind of how their measuring it. At 3 weeks, it's 30 gray ("an extra 10 gray because i guess it's 2 gray each treatment so an extra week tacks on the extra 10). some more studies and research had come out since the last time i talked to him, more debating over whats better 20 or 30 gray. I guess the debate keeps going back and forth. But for 20 gray treatment, there's only 4 years of data on post treatments patients and in the overall scheme of things 4 years is a short amount of time to base a lifetime on. So better to err on the side of caution and add the extra week on. It's refreshing to know (or well actually hear) that he is constantly researching and studying reports and studies that are published and keeping on top of things. Apparently, as he told me, whether to give me 2 or 3 weeks kept him awake at nights trying to make the decision. I feel loved :) I'm pretty impressed with him! Kind of a bummer though, my company holiday party is on teh 14th (end of week 2) and I probably shouldn't be drinking, but he said he's not going to tell me not to but limit it to one or two. Just listen to my body and how it's feeling. I'll finish up on Dec 21st and fly out back down to MS early morning on the 22nd. good xmas present yah?!

I am happy and thankful to report, my hair is filling in yay!!! I got it trimmed up on Tuesday. Didn't have any product with me till today so it was a bit poofy the last few days lol. But I noticed today that it's fillin in more and more, i'm very happy! Sad that my hair can make me that happy. But it does! ;)

My quick training trip to Philly was fun. I'll probably have to go through another week in January here in teh ny office, but still was a good time. And I stayed at The Sofitel. Oh My Gosh this is one of the best hotels if not the best hotel i have ever stayed at ! Huge bed with feather bed and comforter, it was like sleeping on a / in a cloud! A seperate shower right next to the tub, huge bathroom, bathrobes. Great place! Glad I didn't pay for it! And had dinner with the group at Fogo de Chao a Brazilian steakhouse. So much meat flyin around that place! If you're a vegetarian DO NOT go there!! They had a $635 Remy Martin cognac (i think it was remy) but it was for an ounce of it. That's some expensive stuff!! We joked about how much just a taste would cost! lol

so Monday i start with the rads and before ya know it, it'll be xmas and I'll be done!!

Hope everyone has a great December!

san

When the glow begins!

I checked back in with the radiation oncologist on Friday. Got all their cat scans out of the way. Layed down in a weird bean bagish thing, the size of a (if you have pets you'll get this) a wee wee pad lol. Then it kind of inflated around me and made a mold of my neck and head and shoulder area. Very weird. I kept getting slight adjustments that lined me up in the crosshairs of these red beams (kind of like the ones that read barcodes). Once all lined up they marked on me with a blue sharpy with x's. Then once they made sure those were all in the right place, I got tattooed. Yep thats right another 5 tats to add to the on i had. These however are about the size of a freckle.Oh and I might add, old school tats lol. The technician took a needle and a little cap full of ink and then dipped and then poked me in the center of the "x" So now I have three black dots one in the center of my upper chest, one at my sternum and one an inch above my belly button. Then also I have one on my left side (litterally the side of my body) and one on my right. So now they line up the dots with the red beams o' light and make sure I'm all lined up. Then I'm supposed to hold my chin up but I keep dropping it, I now get to have tape running from the side of the head rest under my chin to the other side to keep it up and out of the way. I'm sure I look fabulous while lying down there. I'll go back on Nov 30th for more films that they need and then on Dec 3 start gettin radiation. The good news is that ( as long as all goes well and nothing changes accept in a good way) I only have to have 10 treatments and at a very low grade of radiation (20grey/gray not sure which way they spell it) not so good news is that it's going to go farther up my neck then originally thought. Apparently it was nodes further up in my neck above the supraclavical ones so my saliva glands are gonna get some rads but hopefully since it's a low dosage it wont' affect them.

I then went to the dentist on Saturday. That was quite the adventure. The normal way to get in was shut down because their elevator didn't work. I went to the address that was left on the note on the door and the security/door woman didn't know there was a dentist office upon the 5th floor. So I went up but couldn't figure out where anything was. Just a kidn of hallway, but all in a nice dark wood. Normally there's people sitting behind a desk right infront of the elevators I guess to direct you to which door but they weren't there. So I headed back down stairs and went outside,called ifnormation , got the number to my dentist office and asked how I get in. I was right but just didn't venture forward on the 5th floor to really figure it out. The lady on the phone said she put signs up, but really you had to walk down the hall to the end then know to turn right and follow another hall before you even saw her signs. She should've put them out right when you got off the elevator. But as soon as I turnd the corner she appeared. She figured if she didn't see me in a few minutes she would hunt me down and come to the rescue. But good thing i was early!
The actual visit was interesting. I got to have a device that I had never had before. It's like a little sandblaster that removes staining of the teeth, but it creates a huge mess. It shoot water too and the little suction thing wasn't in the right spot so the water dripped out down my neck and the back of my shirt was all wet. Not to mention when she was done I had sand all over my face and neck. It felt like I had taken a nose dive on a sandy beach! She looked at the back of my shirt and said oh it's all wet, but you have a coat so you'll be ok lol. Not like I really wanted to be all wet after leaving a dentists office. I do have a cavity that needs filling, on my front tooth of all places. How crazy is that. But the dentist said it can wait till january once I'm all done with radiation. She kind of chuckled when I told her I was having 10 days and at 20 grey. I guess she was thinking i was going to get like 3 months, does make a big difference. After hearing that she wasn't too concerned about the time period in which to get the filling done by. But then she says she wants to crown a couple other teeth because , they have already been filled years ago, and are all full of silver but the pressure of chewing and grinding will eventually cause the teeth to fracture. Not that I want that to happen, but I don't think my dental insurance is gonna cover crowning as a preimptive measure but I'll have to check it out. Not that I really want either to happen. I hate hate hate hate hate having dental work done. I think after I had braces. for a second time, I would be used to it, but, nope, I hate it still and never get used to it.

So there were my adventures that started off the weekend. I did watch a couple movies, Mr Brooks and Ratatouille. Mr Brooks was ok, Ratatouille was cute.
Other than that not much else to report. Hopefully will be a nice calm and quiet short work week!!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

That special glow

Well kids, the verdict is in and it looks as though I will be getting radiation. I met with Dr Shah, the radiation oncologist. Wow such a nice guy. Young,nice, seemed very knowledgable, meticulous,accessible, personable, on top of everything. Gave me lots of info but even said you probably will only retain 40-60% of this lol. I did even take some notes. For example the stats for secondary cancer that he gave me were .5% per every year of life after radiation. So If you're 5 years out of radiation the percentage of developing a secondary cancer from radiation is 2.5%. Now, these are based on patients who were treated 10-20 years ago. 10-20 years ago the radiation dosages were much larger then they are now, so theoretically the actuall .5% should be lower since they use lower dosages now, and they are more precise (down to teh millimeter). So I feel very confident in Dr Shah. He said treatment would probably be 10-17 days. I go back on Thursday for their CatScan and the tattooing of the target spots and will find out exactly how many days I will go through then. But with Thanksgiving and me going out of town for that and for xmas its' gonna be fun. Looks like I'll get back from Thanksgiving down south then go to Philly for the 28th and 29th and then start radiation on the 30th and go (possible if 17days) straight to Dec 21 (with a saturday thrown in most likely dec 1) and then leave to go back down south on Dec 22. Time is gonna fly by!
So there's the update. Like I think I said previously, i look at it like a second line of defense!
Hope everyone has a great week!

The waiting game

Hello folks of all ages and sizes.
I know some of you have been a' clammerin for my blog posts so here ya go! I can't keep my adoring fans waiting anymore haha.
Since we last spoke (ok well since I last posted) what has been going on?? Not much really. I went back to the onoclogist. Blood counts pretty normal, slightly enemic but not enough to give me a procrit shot. But boy did Jeri want to lol. She always likes to inflict pain upon me. I scheduled my radiation oncology appointment. That will take place monday nov 12 at 11:30 and then at 2 I'll head back over to Dr G (oncologist) and I guess fill him in on what happened, though i'm sure Dr Shah the radialogist will send him his opinion as well. Dr G seems to think that Shah will say yes to radiation. Ya know, not that i have any overwhelming desires to go do it, but it is what it is, and you do what you gotta do. To me, I think of it more like a second line of defense if I have to have it. So we'll chat about long term side effects and all that fun stuff.
So really not much else happening. Just going to work and going home. Some laundry occassionally and lots of tv. I'm addicted to the tv these days. Although with the writers strike I may not be very soon.
Hope everyone is well. Take care of yourselves as tis now the cold/flu season! bundle up if your in cooler parts of the nation! Anyone ever been to Portland OR or Seattle WA?
ciao for now!

Happy Halloween!!!!!

Today I am dressed in scrubs and a stethascope. Can you see the humor in it? A few people were like gosh aren't you tired of seeing those. I just think it's kinda funny, and actually they are quite comfy!
Enjoy your Halloween everyone!!!! Boo!!!

Hip Hip Hooray!!!!

Yay!
I saw my onc doc today for the results of my pet/ct scans and yay, he said he's lettin me go!! No more chemo yay! I do have a cough though so he gave me the zpack adn I'll return in 10 days to check my blood counts and get ready to consult with the radiology oncology peeps to see if they want to zap me or not. But for the next 10 days I'm free yay!!!!!
Here's what the latest and greatest pet/ct scan says (for those of you that understand all the medical jargon)

The previoulsy noed hypermetabolic activity (From march 07 scan) in the lymphadenopathy in the neck and chest has resolved. The size of the lymph nodes on the CT images has decreased. Represetative measurements include a left internal jugular lymph node in the base of the left neck, which currently measures 1x1.1cm and previoulsy measured 2.5x2.2cm; a left supraclavicular lymph node, which currently measures 2.1x1cm and previosly measured 2.7x1.6cm; a right paratracheal lymph node, which currently measures 1.4x1.1cm and previoulsy measured 3.7x3.4cm and an anterior mediastinal lymph node which currently measures 1.6x1.5cm and previously meausred 5.8x2.9cm.
There are hypermetabolic foci in both sides of the pelvis, which correspond with the adnexa (whatever that is) on teh ct images. These findings are most likely physiologic in a patient of this age. There is a right adnexal dermoid.
Otherwise no evidence of abnormal lypermetabolic activity. There is physiologic distribution of the radiotracer in the neck,chest,abdomen,and pelvis.
On the anatomic images, there is no evidence of new enlarged lymphadenopathy in either side of the neck.
There is a right central venous line (my mediport). There is no evidence of new enlarged mediastinal, hilar or axillary lyphadenopathy. No Pleural or pericardial effusions are noted.
examination of the lung parenchyma reveals no evidence of suspicious pulmonary nodule or infiltrate
The liver is diffusely low in attenuation, most consistent with fatty infiltration. No focal liver lesions are appreciated. The patient is post cholecystectomy(gallbladder removal). otherwise, the visualized portions of the spleen, pancreas, kidneys, and adrenals are unremarkable.
There is no evidence of intra-abdominal,pelvic, or inguinal lymphadenopathy.
The remailing visualized pelvic structures are unremarkable.
Impression:
1.Interval resolutoin of the hypermetabolic activity in the lymphadenopathy in the neck and chest. The size of the lymph nodes on the CT images has decreased.
2. No new hypermatabolic activity to suggest new site of malignancy.
3. No evidence of new enlarged lymphadeopathy in the neck, cheest, abdomen, or pelvis.
4. Fatty infiltration of the liver
5 right adnexal dermoid

So theres the results folks! yay! So I shall enjoy the next 10 days of freedom for sure!!
xoxo
san

The Rejuvenizer!!!!!!!!

Hello guys and galls, how is it goin!?
So yesterday my friend Nic and I went to the New Life Expo at The New Yorker. Total New Agey stuff. But I went for a specific reason. A woman named Phyllis Light was there. I learned of her through my reiki friend John. He had purchased a rejuvenizer from her. Here's what the rejuvenizer is
"The Rejuvenizer® line, created by Dr. Phyllis Light, is designed to help protect your physical and subtle bodies from the harmful effects of electromagnetic fields (EMFs) and to help repair subtle damages to those bodies from all such negative energies, as well as from drugs, surgical procedures, and other people's negativity directed at you"
They are nice looking things too. I got one that a ring and it's like looking to a purple and blue little universe of stars. Thanks Nic for bringin this particular one to my attention. I figure cant hurt and there's a fun little parlor trick you can do with them too lol. My ring is kind of like the picture on here but much more purple and sparkly and pretty!

Then we went off and ate at Ruby Tuesdays. Which I've been dying to go to. I love their Salad Bar. But let me say, this new one in Times Square.... really... why do they hvae two menus, a cafe menu for the first floor (just like burgers and sandwiches I guess) and then the dinner menus for wayyyyyyy upstairs. whatever. Had to go upstairs as thats where the saladbar was. service... not the best. Took forever just to meet our waitress and forever for her to bring the drinks. I mean really, we were sitting across from the beverage station, i was about to go over and get my own water! But anywho, got our drinks got our salads! yummy. then got the little mini burgers. Not so yummy. Very salty and oddly had a spicey heat to it. wierd. But I was full on salad anyways! Love the pumpernickle croutons...my favorite!!! Then just hung out at Nics, she did some numerology, watched Brothers&Sisters and then I went home.

Been having trouble getting to sleep not sure what it is. But all last week it took forever trying to fall asleep and then just tossing and turning. Drugs, nerves, subconscious mind not shutting up, dunno. But took some ativan on saturday and sunday nights and finally slept yay!!Sucks though if I'm gonna have to keep takin it to get to sleep ugh.

Friday had a Pet and CT scan done. I'll find out the results from the oncologist on Wednesday. But while I was being removed from the machine, the technician, says "I see you've had some chemo" and honestly my first thought was , "yeah anyone who looks at my hair can tell that lol" but I didn't say it. I just said yep. He asked how many, I said 12 adn that I was getting the scans to show the doc so he can decide if he wants me to have more (i hope not) or be done (yes please). Then the tech says, "oh i don't think you'll need anymore chemo". Hmmmmm???? Now what does that mean? Aren't techs supposed to be tight lipped and keep their mouths shut? Did he imply that he say the scans and things look great or was he just tryign to say something supportive lol. My ma chooses to think he saw the scans and she's thinkin good things. I'm thinkin i'm not gonna think he saw anything and won't get my hopes up until i hear the onc say hey you're done!

Ma visiting for a week. That was nice though we don't always get along lol. I saw it's because we are both too selfish lol. But she left on saturday. While she was here though we ate a TAO (her request-I think i'm over that place, good but the awe has worn off) visited the M&M store, chinatown, and I'm sure other things other then eating at the local diner. lol. but i just can't remember.

hope all have a great week!
ps Kelly, you're welcome for the Netflix :) Have fun!

New hair cut, treatment and update

Hello there everyone!

Well today was treatment day. Feelin a little off and nauseaus but not too bad. Took a zofran for the sicky feeling helps a big not still got an edge of icky left but it's alright.

So the update...... i will get a new petscan and cat scan at the end of this coming week or the beginning of next week. Once we get the results of that then we ha or the oncologist will determine if he wants to tak on more treatments or give them to the radiologist oncologist to see if they want to radiation. I guess if finally clicked in to my onc that i did do 12 treatments so maybe i won't have to have the extra. But, I'm not getting all excited until I actually have the scan results and now for sure.

On another front, my mom gave me a hair cut. I thought she would just buzz it all off, which is what I told her to do, but she actually just gave it a little short cut and it actually doesn't look bad at all. So let me know what ya think!

Have a great weekend everyone!

mon coeur

Quick little update..... My little old heart has been pumpin pretty quickly lately. In other words, my pulse has been fairly fast. So I had my nurse at the oncology office check it. it was clickin along at 100. So i made an appt with my primary doc today. He seemed like he was havin a bad day. Usually i find him a little more talkative, but today, not very talkative at all, or at least to me. But he took my pulse and blood pressure a few times and while lying down. though he never told me what it was. And i never asked. But he also had the ekg machine come on in and hooked me up. He said that came back fine. Then gave me a perscription to get an echocardiogram. Since its in the same office, when i went to schedule it at the front desk, and the girl asked when i wanted to make it for, I said, "got anything for today?" It was almost 3 at this point, not like i really thought they would. But they did!! So it was at 4:45. instead of going back to work, because by the time i got there I would just have enough time to check my mail and turn off my computer and come back, i went to Borders grabbed the next book in a vampire romance series that I got hooked on, grabed a seat and sat and read for an hour and a half lol. Thanks to Jackie at the oncs office for gettin me hooked on those. Luckily she owns them all so i can just borrow for her, cause there's like 7 or 8 in the series. So I went back to the office and got my echo. This time (beacuse i had one done before back in Feb/March) this guy was much friendlier. so after a few minutes he said, looks great. He said my heart looks nice and strong and healthy!! yay!! so I guess the rapid pulse may be from the drugs (decadron more maybe) and subconscious anxiety or some conscious too I suppose. Anywho, I got some drug, Toprol. supposed to take two aday, but was told if one seems to do it i can stick to that. So now when I lay down to sleep I won't feel my pulse pump pump pumpin away!

Mom is flying in tonight to visit for a week. Was supposed to be here for my last treatment. But after she booked the flight and i had a visit with the onc, he decided to add two more on to the end (which by the way would've been tomorrow 10/12) So now the end will be nov 9th. Ma's flights gotten delayed due to weather. Saw there was a tornado watch or warning in Nassau county. So that would more explain flight delays. Not that I'm in Nassau but its around the area. got a call though and she has landed. will arrive about 3 hours late lol.

Well there's my update. Hope all is well with everyone else!
san

Visitor, shows and treatments

hellllooooooo everybody! It's been a little while since I updated this so here goes!
First of all, a big howdy and thanks and good to finally meet ya face to face, Kelly . She scored some free tix to the Stupid Cancer Comedy Show, a fundraiser for I'm Too Young For This a social network online for young adult cancer survivors. It was a fun show and a couple of them made me just really bust out laughin alot. Felt good!!! Then I scored some free tix to the bway play The Ritz (thanks Scotte!). It was fun. Not the greatest play ever written but fun. Who wouldn't like a bunch of hottie probably all gay men runnin around in tiny towels on stage or just a pair of buttless leather chaps lol. Sorry Kelly it was so hot and humid for those couple of days you stayed. finally sprinkled today and today was nicer and cooler but the sun light was pretty toasty if you were standin in it.

Had treatment today. went fairly quickly about 3-3 1/2 hours. got in at 11 left a little before 2:30. It's gettin crazy at the office. They are renovating for the next few months. Yep it's pretty needed too but know everything is moving downstairs and a new desk in the chemo lab takes up some room so you can't recline recline very well without missing the knees of the person in front of you lol. Gonna be a crazy few months but when it's done there will be like triple the amount of waiting room space and new air ducts so should all be good although by the time they're done I should be done with treatments and only visiting every three months or so.
I tried to fill my zofran script and ran into more problemsn. The insurance people never told us I had to get an actual new script written for the increased amt of pills given in a month, so we assumed i could just refill the one i had, but no. I hd three pills left, was calling the insurance poeple and after a half hour with them they couldn't do anything to get me through the weekend, but they did tell me to call the pharmacy and tell them to go into their computers and change the amount of days the script was for to 4 days so i could get another 4 pills. I called them they said they had to call the insurance people again adn for me to call back in a hour. so I called back and turned out he just tried and got in the system and changed it without calling and the insurance peeps overrided the days so he could. Yay! So i picked those up and am much happier! I'll see the nurse on monday and tell her she needs to write a new one. so then hopefully all should be good!
The idea now is that the doc might add a couple on to the end. I guess I'll find out next week when i go in for the neupogen shots. no more neulasta that crap hurts!!!! I told both the nurses that they should try it sometime so they know what the patients get to go through lol. Jerri and I exchange more laughs and digs at eachother. Fun times.
I finished the Dark Prince a book that the Jackie the receptionist at the office let me read. Fun book. The writter though needs some new descriptive words other than white hot pain or velvet all the time. lol.
So for now I guess thats about all. Busy week, was wiped out today! I'm not an early to bed kind of person and I did take a nap earlier so I'll probably be up til around 1. I can't help it, but then i'll probably sleep till early afternoon :) I like to sleep man! Even before this cancer stuff, I still liked to sleep!!
Oh good news on the granny front her docs said the colon cancer was found early and they'll do 12 radiation treatments and a chemo pill then check things and if all is good do to the surgery and then maybe won't need a bag and can hook up all the internal tubing and fix her up and get her goin so yay!

hope all have a great weekend!

Doc n Kathy Griffin

So I went to the oncologist today to checkin. He siad sounds like it's the whitecell booster and chemo that given me the aches and pains. OH and the really "good" news (and i'm being sarcastic) is that he may want to add on another 2 treatements beacuse I had two breaks (one for the gallbladder removal and one cause of strepthroat) Thats annoying. If the scans are soo clean and I'm getting quite a few after a clean scan, why add two more. Ugh. I have plans for turkey day and I dont' want more treatments screwing up gettin the hell out o the state! But it is what it is and I don't want this crap to come back because that would be bad and a lot more crap to deal with. So do what i got to do. So I got back on friday and get more toxic cancer killing drugs adn hope that they don't kill off too many of my good cells while they're at it! I like to keep the good cells!

The White cell booster Neulasta did it's job and my whiteblood count is great! So thats nice that it did it's job and I probably wont' have to have another shot till probably right before the treatment on the 12 of Oct.

Ordered my KathGriffin tix a little while ago. She's at the Garden in January. Super excited. I really enjoy Life on the D List and have seen her live before. She is just hilarious!!



thats all for now, but stay tuned for another gripping edition of life on the hodge list

the cumulative effect

these past few treatments have been gettin harder and side effects lasting longer. My back hurts (so far chemo was last fri and its thursday now) still hurts, muscles ache in the back, arms, neck, chest. ugh I wish it would stop. Ocassionally even my lower teeth start feelin tense and achy too. Muscles start feelin like they want to tense up. Not fun. Then I got the neulasta shot this time and tonight i now feel the bone pain kicking in in the pelvic/hip bones. Not fun at all. I took a couple prednisone, hopefully it will start workin soon. Monday was the only full day I actually was at work. Tuesday was off, wednesday I left early, today was off.I dunno about tomorrow, but if the bone pain is still here, I won't be going in.

I had a PFT (pulmonary function test) today. A bunch of breating into a spirometer. Breath into a tube like normal, deep breath in, let it all the way out, do that a few times. The deep breath in hold it and push it out fast. Then step into a glass box and all sealed up, mouth on tube, pant like a dong. Then the airflow is cut off in the tube for a second and you keep panting and then it open back up. That happens a like 4 or 5 times. That was about all. Took about 15-20 minutes. The lady technician remembered me from way back end of march or beg of april when i did the test before. Since I got a bit more winded then normal the doc decided to send me in for the test. I dunno the results probably just get them later at the docs office.
So that all i got to report right now.

Two more to go!

Hellooooo everyone! Got my chemo today....without the Bleo. Havin a few episodes of getting winded quickly so thought we'd lay off that and get the lungs checked next thursday. Chemo went a little faster today. Was done about 2:40, normally i'm done about 3:30. I looked up at the bag that only like an hour ago was completely full and it was almost finished and then i looked at the drip and it was pretty open and drippin fast. I normally don't like it fast as i tend to feel a little more icky later. This time on Monday instead of the neupogen i'll get a shot of neulasta. It saves me from repeatedly going in for a few days in a row but Friday (at least thats how it happened the last time )the bone pain will hit. Odd though as recently I was feelin bone pain with the neupogen, not as instense and managable, just annoying and all the time. This should just be the one day yay! But the really good news is, only 2 more treatments to go yay!!!!!

Oh the antinausea front, thanks friends and peeps that have read my blog and have offered to send me the meds. Not needed but greatly appreciated. I actually talked to my insurance and my nurse talked to them and we got it all worked out so I can get the Zofran tablets (the ones you swallow not the icky berry disolvable under the tongue ones). So yay i should be all set with the drugs now....hopefully they will work!

Went to lunch with Jackie and Josh, Asi, and another of their friends/magicians, who's name i can say but have no clue how to spell...maybe Ehud but said ayud i guess. Went to Caliente on 33/3ave. Such sucky sucky sucky sucky service. Was horrible service. Then they gave my dish to Asi (i had the cheese enchiladas and he had chicken) but before I cut into mine, and half of his was already devoured, then i realized it. Surprised he didn't realize he had cheese and not chicken, but whatever. I was dissapointed, i wanted my cheese and not the chicken. totally different flavor combos. I did have a virgin pina colada. It was fine. Yummy cherries. Then went to Josh's and saw his awesome work on Asi's dvd and petted the puppy. then walked with them down to Union Square and then i came home.

I came home to find that my interent is not working. The modem may be bad. But since i have a wireless card on my laptop I've found some service.

Random/////// I really want to go to Alaska and spend a long time there. Once in the summer and once in the winter. Hopefully a cruise there is in the not too distant future!! one can hope!

have a great weekend everybody

the weekend

It is Sunday, so it was laundry day. Man did i have lots of laundry to do. By the time I was done and luggin it all up to the apt, i was sooo winded and had a lung burn thing happenin. Guess I'll bring it up with the nurse tomorrow. Maybe they'll cut back on the bleo. we shall see.
I tried to make some plans to go to a great chocolate shop and an italian restaurant but ended up cancelling them becuase of feelin really wierd icky. Was really bummed.
Not diggin this cumulative effect of chemo.

why don't people understand that during chemo one must stay away from sick people. If you have a fever, don't hang around and say oh hey my fever is this.. what the fuck?! Hello? If i get a fever and it gets tooo high I have to go to the hospital, not like someone else who's healthy who gets a fever and just sleeps and rests till it goes away. it's not the first time sayin if you are sick you need to stay away and back off, cause it's bad, jesus get it through your head already! Sorry you are sick and not feeling well but please don't feel the need to share!

ok well enough of that venting. At least i have clean clothes now and kinda of wiped my stuff down with the clorox wipes!
Not sure what I'll be eating for dinner. Don't really feel like eating much. Uck.
probably grab some soup or plain fried rice.
Peace out, hopefully everyone have a great week

chemo on!

Went to the onc's office today. And today white blood cell count was nice and high! But also now that I had to give myself a shot in the belly of the Neupogen, they rather I do it to myself. I rather keep going to the office and little professionals do it! Although a buddy offered to do it, he has experience with given shots, so I might just take him up on it! too scary when i did it myself, I was all shaky and turned the needle since i couldn't really grab it to push the plunger down the way i had it in lol. Shakin like a leaf!
But the two shots worked plus i think the extra days gave my bod the time to get back on track and kickup the white bloodcells on it's own too. So my counts as they look tome on paper and as i have no real idea of the measurement is 13.1 i believe, high end of normal is 10.somethin.So i got alot floatin around and thats fine.
I got the chemo, no big events thank ya! But i do feel queasyish. don't like that at all. I just took Kytril hopefully that will kick in, and I'll take an ativan before bed (apparenlty it also helps with nausea) and in the a.m. will take my other Kytril and hopefully it will all have passed.
Drinkin some Coke the real stuff hopin maybe that will settle things too. if not i might try some GingerAle or GatorAde. it's not horrible, I just hate the feeling. I'm completley able to go out and do things, probably go to work tomorrow.
Guess thats all for today.
Oh did you know that one of the Williams sisters (tennis) dated Bret Rattner? I learned that today while getting chemo lol! Ah the trivia I pickup in the fun places I go!
so thats what I know for today
Ohhh also, if anyone knows the symbology of the japanese maple leaf in terms of a tattoo, please let me know thanks!

No Longer Pissed and The Supid Cancer Show

OK I got over my being pissed. What good is it to hold on to anger, so I try and let it go!

Took a trip to Target today. Yay!!! It was quite the journey on the way home. I bought a floor lamp w/ 5 different colored shades, in blues and a green. I love it. It replaced my old black halogen ugly thing. I was sooooo tired of that. But this new one was a little heavy! I carried it to the subway which was packed with people waiting. Hot and sweaty down there. then about 5 minutes a train showed up yay!! This little old Asian man completely blocked the center of the door to get on, I was off to the side, moving over to let the person trying to get off the train, get off. This little old mad pushed his way onto the train completely blocking the guy who wanted off, so I just moved wayyyyy over so he could squeeze by. The little old man wanted a seat but there were plenty, no need to run onto the train and block everyone else lol. I'm not being discriminatory but little old Asian people always seem to do that. They don't care who you are but you better get out of their way cause they are on a mission to a seat!!!! Just a fact that I've come to learn watching train rider traffic. Anyways, I ended up catching a cab once i got back out of the subway and into my hood. yay cabs, love cabs! My lamp is all put together and all pretty yay!

Oh and on Monday Sept 3 on The Stupid Cancer show will be Kris Karr. If you watch TLC you may have caught her documentary called Crazy,Sexy Cancer. I thought it was great! Here's the link to The Stupid Cancer Show

"Cancer Society Focuses It's Ads on the Uninsured" from the NY Times

August 31, 2007
Cancer Society Focuses Its Ads on the Uninsured
By KEVIN SACK
ATLANTA, Aug. 30 — In a stark departure from past practice, the American Cancer Society plans to devote its entire $15 million advertising budget this year not to smoking cessation or colorectal screening but to the consequences of inadequate health coverage.

The campaign was born of the group's frustration that cancer rates are not dropping as rapidly as hoped, and of recent research linking a lack of insurance to delays in detecting malignancies.

Though the advertisements are nonpartisan and pointedly avoid specific prescriptions, they are intended to intensify the political focus on an issue that is already receiving considerable attention from presidential candidates in both parties.

The society's advertisements are unique, say experts in both philanthropy and advertising, in that disease-fighting charities traditionally limit their public appeals to narrower aspects of prevention or education.

But the leaders of several such organizations, including the American Heart Association, the American Diabetes Association and the Alzheimers Association, said they applauded the campaign's message that progress against chronic disease would be halting until the country fixed its health care system.

As in the past, the heart association is using its advertising dollars these days to promote more rigorous exercise and healthier diets. The most recent cancer society campaign encouraged screening for colon cancer, including a memorable commercial in which a diner plucked — and then ate — a lima bean polyp from the intestinal tract he had carved in his mashed potatoes.

But John R. Seffrin, the chief executive of the cancer society, which is based here, said his organization had concluded that advances in prevention and research would have little lasting impact if Americans could not afford cancer screening and treatment.

"I believe, if we don't fix the health care system, that lack of access will be a bigger cancer killer than tobacco," Mr. Seffrin said in an interview. "The ultimate control of cancer is as much a public policy issue as it is a medical and scientific issue."

The two 60-second television commercials that form the spine of the campaign make that point.

One features images of uninsured cancer patients, appearing hollow and fearful. "This is what a health care crisis looks like to the American Cancer Society," the narrator begins. "We're making progress, but it's not enough if people don't have access to the care that could save their lives."

The other commercial depicts a young mother whose family has gone into debt because her insurance did not fully cover her cancer treatment. "Is the choice between caring for yourself and caring for your family really a choice?" the narrator asks.

Census figures released this week show that the number and percentage of people in the United States without health insurance rose last year, to 47 million and 15.8 percent. A 2003 study estimated that one of every 10 cancer patients was uninsured.

Other surveys have found that one of every four families afflicted by cancer, which is projected to kill 560,000 Americans this year, is effectively impoverished by the fight, including one of every five with insurance.

The cancer society plans to buy time on network and cable channels from Sept. 17 to Thanksgiving, said Greg Donaldson, the group's vice president for corporate communications. There will also be advertisements in magazines and on Web sites.

With nearly $1 billion in revenues, the cancer society is the wealthiest of its peers and has spent about $15 million annually on advertising since 1999. By comparison, Geico, the automobile insurer with the "Caveman" advertisements, spent about $14 million on network advertising in the first quarter of 2007, according to TNS Media Intelligence, a tracking firm.

Advertising about the health insurance crisis is not uncommon among more broadly based medical organizations and other interest groups.

Last week, the American Medical Association kicked off a three-year campaign called "Voice for the Uninsured" that will begin with $5 million in advertising in early primary states. AARP, in conjunction with the Business Roundtable and the Service Employees International Union, recently began a similar effort called "Divided We Fail."

This year, the cancer society formed a collaborative with the heart, diabetes and Alzheimers associations, as well as AARP, to promote awareness of the health access problem. The group adopted as common principles that all Americans deserve quality, affordable health care with transparent costs.

But the cancer society is the only disease-focused group ever to have dedicated advertising resources to the topic, said officials with other charities and with trade groups."I've never seen anything like it before," said Bill Novelli, chief executive of AARP and, in a previous career, a co-founder of the Porter Novelli public relations firm. "It's taking a different tack for them."

That a charity like the cancer society felt compelled to join the access debate reflects both the urgency and the resonance of the issue. Nonetheless, Mr. Donaldson said it was "risky business" for the tax-exempt group.

It steered away, he said, from promoting solutions that could be viewed as partisan, like mandatory insurance or single-payer government coverage. Rather, he said, the commercials are intended to urge action by the next administration, and to drive viewers to a Web site linked to the group's advocacy and lobbying arm.

"We very much see a moral imperative to raising the discussion," Mr. Donaldson said, "but we understand there's a need to be appropriate."

Cancer society executives said they had heard little dissent from volunteers and donors, and several regional officials said they supported the new approach.

But others called the campaign misguided. Valerie C. Robinson, a longtime board member of the Jacksonville, Fla., chapter, said expanded access to insurance coverage was "not our fight."

"To me, it's throwing away money that we could have put into providing free mammograms or free PSA tests or free colonoscopies," she said.

Mr. Seffrin initiated the advertising campaign after being pushed by the society's board to make faster progress toward its goals of reducing cancer death rates by 50 percent and incidence rates by 25 percent from 1990 to 2015. If trends continue, the actual reductions are projected to fall well short, perhaps by as much as half.

While the decline in death rates is accelerating, studies have shown that if cancer was diagnosed more in its early stages, the rates would fall faster. And new research is confirming that insurance status often determines whether a person's cancer is diagnosed early or late.

One study published this year found that uninsured breast cancer patients were more than twice as likely to have their cancer diagnosed in late stages as those with private insurance. Other studies have found similar results with cancers of the larynx and mouth.

"The truth is we know what's going to happen with cancer if we don't intervene," Mr. Seffrin said. "It will become the leading cause of death in the world, needlessly."

Copyright 2007 The New York Times Company

Fucking annoyed

I'm so fucking annoyed and pissed.
went to go get chemo today, everything for the day started off fine. But when i brought down the bloodwork, my counts were too low. My whiteblood count was at 3000 and my gromules or whatever the hell they're called were at 1000 which is way to low I guess. So no chemo, i have to come back on Tuesday to get it. I got a Neupogen shot while i was there and on Sunday I have to give myself a shot. We'll see how that goes, but if i don't i'm afraid that the counts will still be too low on tuesday. Whats really more annoying than anything is that I was there a week ago, the counts were a little low but the doc wasn't worried, so he decided that I didn't need the neupogen. They are now being cautious with it becuase of the link between it and Bleo being bad for you. Find drop of the Bleo give me the neupogen cause obviously I need the friggin stuff.
Grrr with only 4 more to go, I'd like to get them all on time please and like to be able to go off to MS for Thanksgiving, instead of people coming here. Grrrrrrr, just very annoyed. I'm sure Tuesday will be fine but I don't want to wait.
And now after watching the Food Network I was a big ole piece of steak!

doc visit today

Met up with the oncologist today, just for a check on the blood work and see how I am. I said i got weird aches and he said its just the chemo. Which i knew. It's like the weird aches I had back in the beginning of all this lol from the first chemo.
My blood work though they said looked really good and no nuepogen shot for me. They'll just check it again next friday before chemo and if I need it then I'll get the shot. So probably around the second to last chemo I might get another pet scan to just be sure we are ending at 6 cycles and not continueing to 8. Then sounds like off to visit with a radiation oncologist to determine if they feel I should get rads or not. Rads are a little bit of a harder thing to digest. Side effects that could pop up years down the road are possible lung or breast cancer or luekemia.So it's not really on my top list of things to too. But I chatted with my nurse Geri and she said the risk of a luekemia is generally associated to long term radiation, like months of radiation where i guess mine would probably be a couple to a few weeks, i'm guessing.But the up side to it is that having it done in connection with chemo does seem to put the odds more in my favor of not having a recurrance. Also Geri said that being classical hodgkins nodular sclerosing at stage 2A is a good thing and has like a 90% survival. though I think i remember my doc way back in March sayin the percentages were like 75% and then I read online its like 85%. Now neither of those do i know if they are Hodgkins in general or specific to stage 2a.
so thats what I know

Ton of Bricks

Man the chemo i got last friday has hit me like a ton of bricks. I've been so tired this past week. Either not going to work or coming and going back home. crazy tired. And on top of that my back is hurting. I have no idea what i did to it. The only thing I can think of is maybe sitting oddly at the baseball game. But that was Sunday and it's almost friday and still hurting! I went to the chiropractor today, helped for a couple hours but it's startin to ache again. I go back to the onc tomorrow for a blood check and probably get a neupogen shot. Here's hopin the back gets better and I'm more awake next week!

Batter Up!

Went and saw a baseball game today.Saw the Yankees vs. Tigers. Ok since I'm from MI i love my Detroit Tigers but man.....the only had like one good inning. Whatever, not like I really follow the sport that much anyways lol But it was a fun afternoon. Was sooo tired though towards the end of it. We left in the 8th inning, good thing we got to sit on the subway instead of stand and being crushed like sardines!

Oh, I asked the pharmacist today about the 'limitations exceeded' on the Kytril. She said that they only give it out in limited quantities because it's expensive. But seriously to only give me two at a time. Thats just crazy. At least give me four and get me through chemo night and the whole next day and not just half of it lol.
I ended up taking a Zofran late lastnight. So gross. I tried to have amouth full of water to let it dissolve under my tongue faster and then just ended up swallowing it back quickly. Fake berry is soooooo nasty. I'll pay $100 for 8 pills of Kytril at once if I never have to let that gross berry flavor dissolve in my mouth again! But after Oct 14, i won't have to worry about that any more. yay!

Let the count down begin, 4 treatments left, oct 14 is the last yay!

Woooohooooo results!!!!

Got my midway point Pet and CT Scan results today. News is great!!!
here's the stats (keep in mind the size of a normal lymphnode is 1cmx1cm)
I had 4 lymphnodes that lit up on the PEt scan and were enlarged. Lit up means they show hypermetabolic activity (cancer) this was back in march.
Current Scans
The previously noted hypermetablock activity in the lymphadenopathy of in the neck and chest has resolved. The size of the lymph nodes on thh CT images has decreased.
measurement of the left internal jugular lymph node is the base left of the neck currently measures 1x1.1cm...previously was 2.5x2.2cm
measurement of the left supraclavicular lymph node currently measures 2.1x1cm ...previously was 2.7x1.6cm
measurement of teh right paratracheal lymph node currently measures 1.4x1.1cm...previoulsy was 3.7x3.4cm
and measurement of the anterior mediastinal lymph node currently measures 1.6x1.5cm...previously measured 5.8x2.9cm

Other than some mypermetabolci foci in the pelvis (this is most likely physiologic in a patient of my age so no worries) there is no evidence of abnormal hypermetabolic activity! No evidence of new enlarged lymphadenopathy in either side of the neck.
There is no evidence of new enlarged mediastinal, nilar or axillary lymphadenopathy. No pleural or pericardial effusions are noted.
Exam of the lung parenchyma shows no evidence of suspicious pulmonary noduel or infiltrats. So all good
Spleen, pancreas, kidney, and adrenals are all unremarkable (thats good!).


So yay all looks good, looks like no more cancer activity, it's outta here and all the nodes are shrinking!!!

I'l continue treatment. Got #8 today. Even started feeling a little off during treatment. Got new anti nauseau meds, but because my zofran had a big refill number on it, my insurance denied it so i paid $25 for two pills! ah!!! have to figure out how to cancel that other drug! it's icky!
I've got 4 more treatments left to go and then another scan to make sure things are still good and gone!!!!

Also wanted to give a shout out and a big thanks to everyone who's been sending good/great thoughts, vibes and prayers!!! Thank you!!!!

So that my good news!
have a great weekend!!

anxiety

Had a hard till getting to sleep yesterday. I had this intense itchy thing happening. Which turned out to be a yeast infection from a big course of antibiotics for the strep. But once a little seed of doubt gets in ones head thats all it takes. I couldn't help but think, what if this is the hodge itch! What happens then if you get the sympton of hodgkins disease in the middle of treatment just becuase you missed a treatment. ugh, that so sucked! But with the help of lovely ativan i finally fell sleep. Still was wiggin this morning. Finally called a doc for an appt and luckily got in today and he gave me some drugs said it's just a yeast infection. yay!! Calmness settled in. so hopefully tonight will be a little bit more restful.
I'll find out the results of the Pet Scan tomorrow.....fingers crossed everybody!

Scan results to come Friday

Went to get my PET and CT scans lastnight. I rushed on over there since my appt was at 6:30 i didn't want to keep them waiting. They said they could't use the port because of the CT scan so they first went after a tiny vein at the outer side of the crook in my right arm. Weird. And of course he had to dig to find it. He got it in there but when he went to flush it it stung! So he took it out and went for a bigger vein in the underside of the forearm. Got it on the first shot. Hello..... why not start at that spot in the first place? Now I got a bruise, ok it's little but it's gross looking. Looks more like a hickey lol. Where he ended up is just a slight bruise, very light. The PET took 5 minutes, the CT took 25min. I ended up dozing off a little bit, thought i might have moved too much, ya know when you jolt awake lol. Guess not.
Anyways, I'll get the results of the scans on Friday before I get my chemo treatment. Here's hopin for great results!
Oh and catch Crazy Sexy Cancer on TLC on August 29th at 9pm or Aug 30 at midnight!
You can also visit www.crazysexycancer.com

Good news!!! Yay

Went to the Onc today. Throat looks good. Since I haven't had my chemo we are going forward with the PET/CT scans tomorrow night and finally get to see what kind of improvement we have goin on in there!!! yay!! i'm excited. Well excited and scared (ok any musical lovers out there, what line is that from) hah. Scared cause well, what if there's no improvement, that would suck. But just excited to finally have it done and see whats happening!

Had a good weekend. Watched an oldie but a goodie on DVD, Romancing The Stone. Ah a young Michael Douglas bounding down hilltops, fighting with alligators. Ah a young Kathleen Turner, trouncing around the rainforests in heels, being all nieve. And in a small roll but always fun in whatever she does.... Holland Taylor!

Took a walk outside yesterday. There was a streetfair happening up and down my street. Didn't buy anything, it's always the same old junk. But it's fun to walk it and grab a lemonade or grilled corn on the cob!

So thats all I got for ya so far today!

Interesting article on Hodgkins

Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Harvard researchers identify treatment target in Hodgkin lymphoma
By Elizabeth Cooney, Globe Correspondent

Hodgkin lymphoma tumors are a paradox. In tumors that can grow as large as baseballs, only a small fraction of the tumor is made up of cancer cells – about 5 percent – but they are surrounded by the patient’s normal immune cells. Something keeps the immune cells from attacking the cancer cells they vastly outnumber.

Harvard researchers will report later this week in the online Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that they have identified a protein that acts like the tumor’s bodyguard. Called galectin-1, it disables the immune cells, a discovery they believe will lead to better diagnosis and treatment of the blood cancer that usually strikes young adults.

"The reason we think this may turn out to be very important from a clinical perspective is it suggests if you could neutralize the galectin-1 that is being secreted by the Hodgkin lymphoma cells, then you would have a very good chance at re-regulating or reinstalling an effective immune response in Hodgkin lymphoma," Dr. Margaret A. Shipp of Harvard Medical School and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute said in an interview. "We think this may have relevance in other tumors."

The protein is already showing promise as a way to identify tumors as Hodgkin lymphomas as opposed to other types of lymphoma, the paper suggests. Previous work in mice has shown that galectin-1 can also be produced by tumors in melanoma.

Shipp and her colleagues are working on generating an antibody to neutralize galectin-1 that would be an attractive alternative to the chemotherapy and radiation used to treat Hodgkin lymphoma.

"This is a fascinating paper from a big-picture perspective because we are increasingly learning that the immune system is often involved in cancer formation and it can be stimulated to be part of cancer treatment," said Deborah Banker of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, which is funding the research going forward. "It seems that in general none of us might ever get cancer if the immune system were better at finding the very first cancer cells and eradicated them before they had a chance to multiply."

Yay

Yay my throat is reducing in swelling. It's gonna get kind of gross here but, this morning some big chunk of something that was stuck in my tonsil (hardened puss, old food who knows what it was) came flyin out. AFter that the tonsil suddenly reduced in size and no longer felt like a piece of popcorn stuck in the back of my mouth!
OH yay sweet Jesus, I have relief!!!!
Now, Monday hopefully they'll either say o for chemo or just wait till friday. i'd rather they say ok just go down and get it and then reset my days to that. But I guess it's wait and see till then.
OH and Jon thanks for the comment, couldn't leave one on yours but hopefully you'll read this and know i got it and appreciate the visit!

it's a rainy day here in the big apple. But oh so much cooler! Lastnight ws beautiful. I enjoyed a lovely walk home from Ruths (voice teacher) and a lovely evening at her place) but that walk was so nice. it was cool and breezy. I can't wait for the fall weather like that!

have a great weekend!

What a commute!!

Well if yesterday was boring, today started off anything but!!
First I woke up at 4:30am with this weird feeling like a buzzing energy runnin through me. Not painful just like a low buzz, very weird. Stayed up for a little while, not long, then back to sleep. Then woke up at 6:30am to the sounds of thunder. Didn't think anything of it, we were expecting storms and the thunder though it was often sounded far enough away, so I just fell back asleep for another hour. Proceeded with my usual, shower, get dressed etc, then went to the bank and the store to pickup some stuff, then saw there was a bus. Great! I'll catch the bus to the subway stop..perfect! And the bus wasn't even that full...even better! Then I started hearing...through my headphone... that the trains weren't running. So I took out a earbud and listend some more. Apparently there was alot more rain then I knew an no trains in Queens were running into Manhattan (has happened before, they flood easily if there's alot of rainfall in a short period of time. Ok no problem, I'll stay on the bus as it goes into Manhattan. It progrossivley got fuller and fuller and more crammed with people. Lucky me I sat down before it got full! yay me! So packed in like sardines we head off over the Queensborough Bridge. We all get kicked out at 58th and 2nd ave. So I think hey no problem i'll walk a couple blocks to the 6 train and take it downtown to work. Apparently that is not an option i found out as all the eastside train lines weren't running even in Manhattan. So lucky me (and many others) I ended up walkin to work. So 32blocks later (and this is short compared to some of the other stories i've heard) and much sweatier, i end up at work. Only took me an hour and a half, not bad. I beat my manager in and the VP. I was in at 9:30, hopped on a conference call that had started at 9:30. But was basically over by the time I got on lol.
Then later today it was off to the oncologists office. Throat still swollen with gunky puss stuff. So got 5 more days of antibiotics and will go back on Monday. No chemo. I'm bummed but I guess I got to let my body heal up. Only question now is, do i get it on monday or just wait till next friday when is my regularly scheduled day and just have skipped a treatment and tack it on at the end. my doc was busy so i saw his associate, but he reviewed everything and I'll see him on Monday. So I guess no chemo news till Monday. Oh that reminds me I have to report my short term hours!

Bored

I'm bored, bored, bored. Sittin at home is very boring. Luckily i have access to work email and that can keep me a little bit occupied. Although I have been getting to watch the travel channel and visit some lovely european cities. Today we went to Helsinki, Finland. Just another place to add to the life list of places to go visit!
I wll probably go to work tomorrow then off to the onc to check the throat. Still feels swollen, looks swollen,a little icky. so I'm guessing that the chemo won't happen, but possibly stronger antibiotics, though I still have no fever (so thats good i guess). Just really want to get back into the chemo regime and get things goin and cured and done done done!

throat coat

Grrrrrrrrrr...... I don't think the antibiotics are working. I try to say a little mantra, ya know, healthy throat healthy throat healthy throat, i'm cured, i'm cured, i'm cured. But so far, my right tonsil is still pretty swollen and looks just the same as it did and it's still a wee sore. this is getting really annoying. I really want to get treatment on wednesday so it doesn't delay it anymore, and get in and get my CT and Pet scans. Guess I just have to wait it out and get more antibiotics or stronger ones.
Tonight....it's lets see who will win Hell's Kitchen.
does anyone read this thing other than Kelly? lol. It's great for me to write this but just curious, not many people comment (thanks kelly and carrie) so I was just curious.
Don't have much else to report, just waitin for the throat to heal up.
Oooohhh and Carrie whats your home email?
ciao

Delayed

My chemo treatment has been delayed due to this stupid strep throat :(
Went to the oncologist today, only to meet the nurse as she was breaking for lunch, who said, "Didn't they call you yesterday?" I said no no one called me. Apparently she told them to call me as my oncologist was out of the office today. Well i went in and spoke to the other nurse who called upstairs to the other doc and I was able to see her. Got my blood drawn, counts were perfectly fine, then saw the other doc in the office. She took a look at the throat and said yep its red and swollen and irritated but not puss-y. thats good it was on wednesday! In the end, I'll go back on Wednesday when i'm done with the antibiotics and if everything looks good I'll get my chemo then. So I'll only be a a few days off instead of a whole week, and then I can go back to my fridays.
I decided to come back home and not be around other peoples germs any longer. and I had a bad start to the day at work with my friggin computer. Stupid excel program kept locking up, makin me crazy. I was swearing at it and everything lol. so i didn't want to go back to that machine today!

Now i'm just chillin at home watchin the travel channel wishin i was in Italy or Armania or Jordan or Scottland :) Can't wait for this stupid cancer stuff to be out of me cause I got places to go coming up over the holidays and places I just want to go to!!!

Oh my goodness

Well what I thought was allergies has now just been identified as strepthroat. The culture will confirm but my GP is fairly certian. Weird things is that I've got no fever and it's realy not very sore, just swollen and red and puss-y. Although maybe that weird bout of stomach stuff a week ago monday was from the virus and it moved down into the stomach?? who knows. But I get some amoxycillin, see the oncologist on friday which would've been my chemo day. Hopefully all the blood work will be fine and he'll say ok and give me the chemo still. I hate to push it back.
Thats the latest scoop. Can't wait till 1:30 and I can go pickup my meds and start taking them!

it's the weekend

I'm feelin much better than I did on monday! Made it to work for the rest of the week, this past week. Felt a little down yesterday so stayed home and just read the new Harry Potter book allllll day and night long. I finished it at about quarter to 5 this morning lol. But it was sooooo good!!!! ok thats all I'll say about it! so good!
went to the diner with the boys (roomies) this afternoon. Its raining off and on today. Lightening and thunder off and on. Seems to have stopped now, though I'd like it to continue. I like thunderstorms.
Nothin really new to report, just thought I'd drop a new post is all.

Ugh sick

I guess it was due, I finally got sick. Spent yesterday morning with my head in (ah not the toilet) the sink actually, only cuase I didn't have to bend over as much and could just leave a constant run of water. Spiked a fever. got up to 100.9. Was going to go in to the doc early (was already planning on going in the afternoon for a shot) made it to the couch and crashed there for a few more hours. Man it sucked. I finally made it over to the docs around 2:30ish. Saw the nurse for my shot and told her what happened. She didn't like the idea of having a fever with the chemo. I said i didn't like the vomiting! Especially when you don't really have anything in you to get out! So she gave me my shot, almost painless,the best shot i ever got! Then sent me up for bloodwork. I didn't get any calls and showed up this morning. Fever is gone, went away on its own. Now I'm just very sore through the ribs from all the upchucking. Still feel off but better then yesterday!

two days later

well tis the sunday after chemo and I'm really not doing much for a change. I feel usually i've been going out and runnign around the saturday and sunday after but not this time. I have totally vegged this weekend. Minus the laundry that i'm doing now lol. Although I must say, i think becuase they pushed the drugs faster this time around, i feel side effects quicker. I never felt crappy on the saturday after (except tingling) and i felt yucky yesterday. Just a general achy in the chest, maybe it's the drugs killin cancers ass off. Sounds like a good idea to me. Then my face got sooooo red, i was like a tomatoe! And it spread into my arms too. Now i've checked it out before and I get flushed becuase of the decadron (steroid?) but this was crazy flushed. Even my eyelids were all red, and the going down my arms. Just weird and hot. But no fever so it's all good. Not as bad today. My arms are back to normal and it just looks a little red up on the cheekbones.

I must say at least the weather has cooled off! Although I hear it's supposed to get hot and humid again. Yuck! Oh and this Thursday is our company picnic! Always fun to get out of the office and eat burgers with the gang!

On the computer front, my roommate just got a new laptop, with wireless internet hooked up on it. We tried loading up the webkey or keyphrase or password thing into it and it would say connected but with limited capability and wouldn't connect to the internet. Anyone know how to solve that? I'm pretty sure the password is correct, it's the only one I ever setup when i installed the router. So if anyone has a clue that would be great!

well time to check the laundry!

Movin on into cycle 4 treatment 7 down

So I have moved into cycle 4, treatment 7. I've made it over the half way point, as long as I'm on the 6month plan still. After treatment 8 i will have a Petscan and probably a ct scan and other stuff. I'll find out everything that i get a perscription for on the day of the 8th treatment.

I have to say todays treatment flew by and was quicker then previous treamtents. I went in at noon, an hour after last week and the week before. Annnnddd i was done before 3pm and usually i think I was done after 3. Today I more or less slept through todays treatment. I was tired. My leg muscles lately have been feeling like they've been tightening and wanting to stretch all night long. I just lay there stretching and not falling asleep and then end up takin a muscle relaxer and finally going to sleep. But usually after 2am. ugh. So I was sleepy and dozed, hopefully didn't snore! lol. During one point, Priscella uped the speed on the DTIC and i felt the IV move over my hand, woke me up. She just gently said go back to sleep lol. I knew what she did and the next thing I knew she was puttin a new bag on there!

After treatment I,in typical style after treatments, went and saw a movie. Although this time without mom as she flew back home last weekend. I went and saw Hairspray. I have to say it was fun and enjoyable. Some very funny moments and good performances from almost everybody. I'd say don't go into it with the idea of the original movie as it is differnet. Drop my a line if you've seen it and just want to chat about it. There's some fun cameos of actors in the history of the different movie and stage show that are fun and a fun number in the credits (That was in the stage show) you gotta watch to the end to see who it was performed by. Just really fun.

Well the tinglies are starting in my feet now. Guess I really need to get on the regimen of taking the vitamin B, I realy slacked this last two weeks. I'll go mon tue and wed and go get my neupogen shots because i'm too much of a wuss to give it to myself! :) I got that nasty taste in my mouth. it's moved from sickly sweet to just nasty uck. so i'm chompin on sweettarts to help mask that taste!
now I'm currently watching Scott Baio 45 and single. Yeah he's a womanizer (or at least was) adn is kind of a jerky a$$! no wonder he's single. But it is nice to see past girlfriends tell him off! lol gotta love VH1 and their reality shows. Although I did read that one of his friends (the older brother from The Wonder Years who i thnk is a producer/director now) is supposedly setting up the "real life" scenes it it. Just something I read online whether its real or not I dunno. this is just the first episode i've seen lol. Oh and his friend is a jerk too. whether he's acting that way or is that way, geez what an a$$!

it's funny how once you get diagnosed with HD all of a sudden you hear about a hundred other people who now have it, have had it or have just been diagnosed. Before this I think maybe i had heard of 1 person probably a celebrity.

Ok and for my voice teacher who asked why i didn't include this tidbit.... June 8 was our voiceclass. havent been to one since i think jsut before xmas time. ( i should remember when it was as it was at my house last time)Anywyas i decided to go to the class although I hadn't been to a lesson since February, and I havne't really been practicing except for some singing along with the radio ha! so i went to the class. They're always fun, get to catch up with friends not seen in a while, hear everyone sing. I still was thinking I probably wont sing. But a little piece of me wanted to as I did bring some music. And I did end up getting up and singing. the word from my teach was that it as amazing and people were talking to her commenting and complementing it for the rest of the week. So yay for me! Makes me really want to get back in there and sing sing sing sing. So my new news in the singing ring is that I'm creating a show. when i hit the end of chemo will be the performing date. I'm actually thinking Nov-Jan sometime. And profits will be going to CancerCare, their young adult programs. Since I'm hooked up with them and think it's a good organization, has meaning for me.

so thats the skinny for today!
Have a great weekend!

it's me

Just thought I'd post a current pic. This was taken last weekend at the museum :)I'm in the center of a giant clam shell!

arise fair one and come way

Woke up this morning and was still feelin achey in the abs. logged into work email and answered some stuff. Ate some cheerios. haven't had them in a while yummy. Then went back to sleep for a couple of hours while my computer scanned itself and it's thousands of files. Went to the doc. She said it most likely seems to be muscle related and gave me some muscle relaxers. Supposedly they'll make me sleepy. I'll take one later this evening and see how it goes. But at least nothing hurts like it did the other night. ouch! it's in the low 80's i think a little humid but nothing unbearable like previously. The wind is blowing too so thats nice.
Mom leaves to go home tomorrow. Will miss her but it's time. She needs to get back to her life and friends and grandma and auntie.
have a great weekend!

No AC (sorry Atlantic City not air conditioning)

Well starting lastnight today was a bummer. WE didn't get to go to Atlantic City :( Why?? you may ask... well lastnight when i went to get up from sittin on the floor enjoying some chinese food, I had a horrible pain in my abdomen. It was a couple inches to the left of my bellybutton and about an inch and a half up. Felt like a knife trying to cut through the muscle. Not a happy felling. Everytime I would stand up or sit straight up it would happen. So I spent most of the night just layin on my back in bed. Was the only position I didn't feel in pain. My mom decided to email the surgeon of the gallbladder removal as since the surgery the muscle on that side was always the worst feeling. Of course he said it had nothing to do with the surgery as they were on the right side. Then sent me off saying he'd call my oncologist (oh who is on vacation this week lol). So after seeing the surgeon and since this morning I wasn't in as horrible of pain more just a crampy feeling, we went and saw Harry Potter. Thast the bad thing about the dr's offices all being around a movie theater lol. After I went over to the oncologists office and talked to the nurse. She said oh your spleen is over there, but go see Dr Hagloff. Its the other doc in the office. So she called upstairs and I took the elevator up. Long story short, she did some poking and questioning and really didn't come to any conclusion of what it could be. Could be muscle related, could be viral gastrointeritis, but I'll go back tomorrow and tell her how i have been for the rest of the day. It's been feeling like it wants to act up again so i'll go take some more tylenol extra strength. So thats the news for now. Now it's off to bed :)

yeah

Yay it's not as hot today! Yes it's very humid, but not as hot!! My weird queasy off feelin seems to have passed too. Still got a weird muscle pain to the left of my bellybutton, i think i was just rolling around too much through the night and pulled it :(
Had a bout of insomnia lastnight. Took an Excedrin PM and that didn't do anything then took an Ativan around 4:30, finally napped a little, but still waking up at 5 somethin then 7ish and off and on till about 8:30.
A bit sleepy today but not too bad, probably will nap later and that will probably screw me up for tonights sleep lol
well back to work
peace out!

Its Too Damn Hot!

It's too hot today for sure! I haven't even gone outside but our hallway radiates heat and it's hot in there. I did go down in the stairwell today to open the door to Nic droppin off some stuff to me. And just opening the door felt the heat. I heard 100 degrees (was forcasted yesterday for today) and was like ick. Think i dehydrated myself over the weekend and started feelin queasy yesterday and still today. So add the heat on top of that and I decided to stay home and not even try to go into work today. Still feelin a little queasy but it's gettin better.
Kelly over at www.chemopalooza.com posted this link about a Times Magazine article with voting for the best website. I'm Too Young For This is listed on there. It's a cancer resource for young adults under 40. They also had a release of a cd with cancer patients work on it!

Stay cool

Bummer no mythic creatures

Well bummer, we tried to go to the mythic creature exhibit at the museum but it was all sold out! :( so we roamed around the regular museum stuff. Snapped shots of the giant whale,dinosaurs etc. long day. Ate at a little BBQ joint called Brother Jimmy's. Was tasty and they have appreciation days. Tuesday is their teacher appreciation day and wednesday if you have a southern ID you can get 25% off. they also have a wednesday white trash feast night. all you can eat for 2hours of white trash food lol. Basically anything full of fat! BBQ ribs, Mac N Cheese, meatloaf etc. Was a cute fun place up on 80th and Amsterdam. Just roamin around the museum and walkin to trains to get home, whew i'm sleepy now!!
On the chemo side effect front, Arms were tingly lastnight but held off on moving to the hands till around 11ish. Though i also started feelin naseaus (probably all that frozen yogurt i had lol) but I did take a zofran an it worked! Hands were tingly when I got up this morning and finally subsided around 3-4. Which is good. Think i'll keep up with the Vit B and the multi vit. They seem to make it shorten so yay! Other than that just sleepy. Oh and my face is gettng all flushed again from the steriods. Looks rather funny with my cheeks getting so red like i put too much blush or something lol.
ciao

Chemo #6 down!

Well today was chemo #6 really #7 but since i missed one from the gallbladder surgery it's #6. Hopefully soon is a Petscan, but since i had that surgery the nurse thinks it will be a little while yet before i get one. Probably at least not for another 2-4 treatments.
After chemo went for lunch. If you're in the city on the mid east side, head on over to Vezzo for some thin crust pizza. yummy yummy yummy!! It's on 30th and 3rd. Then we headed over and saw Live Free or Die Harder. We enjoyed it. Gotta love bald Bruce Willis and Justin Long! Guess thats the schedule now after chemo, getlunch and catch a movie. Although when mom leaves guess that will probably change, unless anyone out there had a friday afternoon off and whats to meet up with me :)
leave a me a comment or two and let me know or even if you can't. Hard to tell if anyone at all is reading except for Kelly (thanks Krazzy!) Though it's good for me to do this even if i get no comments lol. Got some tingling in the arms, but hasn't hit the hands yet, so i'm hopin it holds off and the vitamin B and multi vitamin i've been taking are working somewhat and it will only get better!Oh and I can't believe it but i just ate a pint of the Lighten Up! Ben and Jerry's Half Baked. yummy, but seriously the whole pint! i never eat the whole pint! Must be the steriods! At least I chose not to get the Baskin Robbins tonight!
Tomorrow looks like we'll head out to the museum and catch the Mythic Creatures exhibit. Should be fun! Dragons, Unicorns and something else. thats about all oh and a voice class at my voice teachers apt,though since i actually haven't been taking lessons for a little while I won't be singing anything. NOr have i actually practiced for a while cause I'm lazy and just had other stuff on my mind and people in my house. Lately it's just been singing along with the radio or humming along, but my itch for singing has returned and it's gonna start getting loud in my apt again :) yay!
tis all for now!!!